If we all lived in rural Amish-style communities, living in harmony with our real values would be straightforward, but the reality is, most of us are not cut off from the rest of the world. And those of us with kids are trying to be good parents in a larger community that leads a much more materialistic and frenetic existence.
Yet we all know in our hearts how our children were meant to be raised. For most of us, nostalgic thoughts of the sweeter moments of our own individual childhood experience revolve not around the fact that our parents might have driven a fancy car, it's about special times - gardening with your mother, or retreating to a tree house over a two-week school holiday, doing no more than reading Anne of Green Gables, or dreamily watching the weaver birds building their nests.
Monetarily, it's not always easy to live in a city with kids - a trip to the Northgate ice rink on Sunday, with three kids and two adults, cost us R330, refreshments excluded. An outing to a child friendly restaurant the next day, grandparents included, cost another R400. It helps to remember that you don't have to fork out loads of money to entertain the kids. And it's not necessarily your job to keep them entertained all the time, either. Occasional treats, sure... it is their childhood, after all. R1000 every weekend? Not doable.
What are consumer culture values?
Marie Sherlock notes in her book Living Simply with Children that consumer values are insidious and hard to resist, as they are always packaged positively:
What does a ‘simple living' family look like?
We're all unique, so, as the author of the book "Your Money or Your Life", Vicky Robin remarks, " People come to simplicity through different doors." One or more of the following concerns usually motivates parents: personal financial sanity, environmental concerns or perhaps the need for a stronger sense of community and a rock solid family life.
Our interpretations too, will be unique: from living off the grid in a Karoo village and home schooling your children, to simply cutting back on office time to go for a walk with your family in the late afternoon. Simplicity is a continuum, and somewhere along the spectrum, there's a way for all parents to live more sanely.
Some ways in which parents are simplifying
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Working part time - it might be easier to afford than you think. By freeing up cash through perhaps cancelling your DSTV subscription, limiting restaurant outings and only making emergency cell phone calls, being at home a few afternoons a week could be possible.
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Un-jobbing - If your profession allows for it, finding home-based work could be an option, perhaps as a freelancer or a consultant, a teacher, a tutor or a small business owner.
- One or more parents working from home - Dependent not on gender, but on whose profession pays more and offers the best benefits. Some parents aiming for simplicity have even implemented a system of taking turns to work from home.
How to instill simple values in your kids
- Communicate your convictions - Talk about your values, and how they pertain to the world: caring for the planet, other people, not wasting. Even very young children can be taught that kindness is good. Board books with themes of helping one another are a good way to start.
- Practice what you preach - If you can't stay away from malls, your children will learn to value shopping as a worthwhile activity. The same applies to money management. They'll learn the important basics from you.
- Show your children that living simply can actually be fun - having to think of your own entertainment can force you to be resourceful and creative. If there's no meaning or joy in it, your children won't want the same lifestyle as adults.
- Teach them how to cope with peer pressure - this becomes especially important when they're older, and pressure mounts to be like everyone else.
- Create a sense of community and show them the importance of family rituals - rituals ground a family, and give the children a strong sense of the uniqueness of their family. They can be as minor as a piggyback ride on the way to bed, or as elaborate as a special ceremony on a child's birthday. Family dinners, movie evenings, singsongs... the sky's the limit.